Physical Therapy.. nahh

Along with my illness problems I attend physical therapy to prevent breakdown of my body in the future. Now when I go to the physical therapist I have great intentions of trying to improve my strength and follow their instructions. One problem still lies ahead, they are boring and seem pointless.

Last night my mom reminds me of an appointment in Iowa City. I figured it was one of my follow up appointments for another problem I have due to Ehler Danlos Syndrome. No this appointment had to be for my physical therapist. I instantly go running into my room and grab my exercise list. Whenever I have a follow up they check to see my progress. These exercises haven’t been touched since the day I got them!

My therapist can limit my activity for sustainable living. Earlier this year he suspended me from cheerleading because I wasn’t strong enough to perform. Today is the appointment to see if he will take off my restrictions so I can participate in activities. My mouth literally dropped to the floor when my mom told my where I was going. I need to find a quick solution to my problem. This solution needed to occur in twelve hours as well.

Solution #1) I quickly review them so I know what is happening and I can bull shit my way through the meeting. This will then make Mike think I have been completing them and I will be cleared.

Solution #2) I tell him the truth and pray to god he will release me. I mean honesty is the best policy isn’t it?

As I ponder my options I tell my mother. She breaks the news that she will tell him no matter what so I then begin to beg her to not tell him. Whats my next move? Bribe her of course! So I promised to buy her a peanut buster parfait for her tomorrow, with my own money. Did she fall for it? Hell no… I have looped holed the best I can (might I say I do it very well). So fingers crossed I can trick my therapist and he isn’t reading my blog right now… opppss (Hi Mike)

Ehler Danlos Syndrome

At the end of my freshman year I fell very ill and could not walk. I was confined to a hospital bed and could not move around on my own. As this was all occurring we had no idea what was happening. The summer was exhausting learning to walk again beginning with a walker, then crutches, and finally on my own again. No one will know how much we depend on our body until you lose something we need every day to function. The journey was painful but I am happy to say that I can now walk on my own again.

Along with the issues of learning to walk again came the new tests and treatment solutions while we wait to figure out what my ailments were. I started taking medicines to block the pain messengers sent to my brain so that I could not feel the pain I had anymore. That led me to some personality changes that we all did not agree with so I stopped taking it. Since then I have continued to experience pain so we have tried new combinations. I currently take nine medications daily to protect me and make me feel better enough to function in daily life. They consist of stomach medicines, pain blockers, personality medicines, allergy pills, and all different types of vitamins.

We had to wait almost three long years to figure out a diagnosis for my illness. During this timeframe I have been through many tests. I have donated over 5 gallons of blood to be tested, spinal taps, stomach scopes, x-rays, ultrasounds, and many others. I have attended University of Iowa hospitals and MAYO clinics in Minnesota for treatment. At U of I I was diagnosed with chronic pain syndrome but this was not the answer to all of my problems. Once this one piece of the puzzle was figured out I started going to a physical therapist. He evaluated me and diagnosed me on the spot. He said you have Ehler Danlos Syndrome. We were then sent to have tests done and I was confirmed with the disease.

Ehler Danlos Syndrome is a rare genetic disease that gets passed down to offspring. It makes your immune system attack itself and begins to break down the body. I found out I had type 3 which was a blessing for me. If you get type 2 you can have the vascular complications where I don’t. I do not produce enough collagen that is needed for a healthy body. So I am extra flexible and can easily make my joints pop out of place. I am more susceptible to breaks and bruises, scars don’t disappear, and other complications. Along with these issues I get fatigued very easily so I have to manage my amount of activity in which I preform in.

I can continue living for right now but in the end I will need to re evaluate my life because the older you get the more my body will break down and stop working.

Family!

Family, a single word that can pack a punch behind it. It can mean the difference between succeeding and failing. They show you love and affection no matter what sins we commit, or the problems we face. We can always have someone to fall back on in a time of need and that is when you need them the most. Without my family I would not be the person I have grown to be.

My mother means the world to me. She has experienced things no one can imagine but is still as strong as anyone can be. Whenever I am faced with a problem she is there to pull me through. She is the protector and will not let anyone harm her young. Mama bear is not afraid to come out if someone messes with her babies. Even though I may not like it she is not afraid to tell me no, especially when I hated her for it. She has the kindest heart and will help anyone in need. She tries to provide all she can for her family so we can have the best life possible. I feel that I cannot have a better mother ever. She is selfless, caring, loving, and can still be authoritative. I can truly say she is my best friend and I feel comfortable to tell her anything even if she won’t like to hear it.

My little sister is the biggest goof ball you will ever meet. She has the humor that will never die down. I can never have a dull moment when my little sis is around. Even though she does get on my nerves I still love her. I love watching her grow and admire the things I do. I can see the admiration in her eyes as she tries to copy what I do. She has already matured far past her level a seven year old should be at and I am happy to take the responsibility for that. Along with being funny, she had the most tender heart you can ever meet. She can rub your back when your crying, or give you the warmest heart to cheer you up. I cannot wait until she grows up and I can see what she will blossom into.

My dad is my twin. I am a carbon copy that was made into a female instead of a male. He has the best humor around and is passionate about whatever he gets into. He will not quit until he has reached his goal he has set to accomplish. We both are very loud and not afraid to speak our minds. If we have a problem with you we will let you know what we are feeling. Granted, sometimes that is bad but sometimes it is needed. Without my dad I would not be the loud, outgoing, crazy girl I am today.

High school is ending

The idea of growing up is finally sinking in. We all look forward to the idea of maturing and becoming an adult. When were little we all tunnel vision for the idea of being in high school which is made out to be the best days of your life. Supposedly filled with friends, boyfriends, dances, parties, and endless fun. As I am now about to close the book to my high school era it is making me see the sadness that I rushed into being in high school when I shouldn’t have.

Last week I sang for my last tryout ever to be in show choir. I have been under the insane pressure of trying out since I was in third grade. Every year brings along new emotions and worries.  As I finished singing my patriotic song I could breath and be proud of the voice I have become. Walking out of the choir room I felt and overwhelming sense of pride over what I have accomplished. Then as I see my best friend throughout show choir I began to feel sad. We both hit the realization that this is ending.

In the coming week I will be auditioning to be a returning varsity cheerleader. When I started high school that was all I wanted to do. I have achieved my goals and now know I will never do anything like this ever again. The golden days are ending and it is paying its toll on me. I am excited to be the senior who is on top of the so called “high school pyramid” but on the other hand that means you’ve reached the final stretch. I am about to cross the finish line of my high school career.

I have hit the wall of reality as well knowing that I now am going to have to be self-sufficient. I will be graduating high school and now venturing into college, a new world where you will float or sink. I need to keep a strong head on my shoulders and not let myself fall into peer pressure. I cannot crumble I need to rise above.  I am beginning to see my life flash before my eyes and now wish I would have taken the chance to value the little things in life while I could when I was little. One day they will be gone and I will wish I could take it all back and redo it. Cherish the moment you have because they will soon be gone.

Poetry Month... yaaayy..

Among the dead, By: Karlie Keeney

As I descend the long path to the underworld
A blooming flower I see, I cannot look away
Forced to stare down at this evil beside me
The dew is wept to the cold ground
Falling from within, drowning my sorrows
I will support the majority, oppose the minority
For united we can do anything,
Divided we can conquer nothing
I am dead and forever will be
As I have to watch others around me
Struggling alone to live while I am among others
We can suffer together not in lonesome
Bound by a common thread
We are the dead, we are the fallen flowers
When one joins we comfort them
As they feel they have became a demon
They may now rest in peace in the newfound heaven

(17 lines)

Analysis of Poem using Literary and Rhetoric Techniques
-Line 1) I make use of an allusion by portraying the path leading to hell
-Line 2) Symbolism is used because flowers are normally thought of as a good and pretty thing where in the poem they are viewed as bad and evil
-Line 3) My diction of the poem is a very evil form of word choice where instead of praising flowers I am degrading them
-Line 4) The use of personification is used by saying "The dew wept to the cold ground" Flowers do release dew, but they do not weep the dew as a human like quality of crying
-Line 5) In this line I make use of irony because flowers have no emotions but yet I state "drowning my sorrows"
-Line 6) Antithesis is used in the form of  "I will support the majority, oppose the minority" I am using contrasting ideas or words used in a parallel structure.
-Line 7) Finally I use Inversion which is using an inverted order of words in a sentence "For united we can do anything, divided we can conquer nothing"

Letter to heaven

Dear Grandpa,

                My last few weeks have been hell. I have been through anger, tears, depression, loneliness, loss, and grief.  My brain never shuts down. I am consoling mom, taking care of kaleigh, and holding in my feelings. After I found out you were gone my world stopped. I felt crushed and like a piece of my heart had fallen off. You were loving, funny, and finally starting to come to my activities. Why did you want to leave me and go somewhere else?

                You were so proud of me making Happiness this year. We started to bond over show choir and you truly enjoyed coming and watching me preform. My performance at Kennedy you couldn’t make it to because you had to work and you promised you would come to my going out concert in May. Why did you break my promise? You swore you were going to be there to see my shining face on the stage that you had become to love.

                I am growing up and we just talked about my graduation and eighteenth birthday coming up. The feeling of pride that overcame you that I was going to graduate made me so proud to be your granddaughter. Your enthusiasm towards my high academic achievements always pushed me to continue trying even when I wanted to give up. I am almost an adult and about to become a young woman. My wedding would soon be around the corner and you were going to be there for me, seeing me create my future. Great-grandchildren were in your future to play with just like you did with me. Why did you not want to witness my future that is laying ahead of me?

                What am I left with now? I am always upset and try and hold it in. I cry when no one is around and then curse you out. If you were here I would hit you and then hug you so much. The only thought that runs through my mind was did you not think of me? You were always there for me and promised to continue to be. Did you not imagine the pain I would feel, the guilt that would overcome me, the overwhealming amount of greif I will feel. I cannot handle hearing the words death or kill me. We sing songs in choir that make me choke up every time we sing them. I am singing a solo that makes me feel that I am singing to you. I was so looking forward to you being at that concert to cheer me on.

                All that I wish is that I could have known what was going on in your mind. Why you didn’t take one second to analyze the situation. It was so vivid and painful. Walking through your house feels wrong, and thinking of how it happened is wrong. I have nightmares of you falling on the bed and screaming out in pain. You are asking for help and once it happened you were wanting to take It back. I have completely transformed into a new person who is cold and hollow. I can feel no emotions except sadness. I fake being happy for others to see. I want to be able to know the logic behind your thinking.

Please, pretty please give me some answers so I will feel better.

With all my love,

Your granddaughter Karlie

The male brain..Help!

                Do you ever have that moment where you smile like an idiot at a text, re-read a conversation just to hear the thoughts of the one you long for, await their response, or have your heart start pounding when they come near? I’m sure we have all experienced these feelings within sometime of our life. Girls more than boys typically seem the experience these fantasies and just never put their mind to sleep.  I would love to know what the boys think in their minds when they see a girl or experience their touch. Do they as well feel the spark and become excited.

                Example 1, you are at the male’s house that you like and are just hanging out and talking. As you are anxiously awaiting him to come near you our minds wander. To what could possibly happen. Then he comes over to you and hugs you. There is instantly the stupid grin you can’t wipe off your face and you want to stay there forever. Now this is the girls perspective but what do the guys think. Do they just do it to hug her or do they really want too?

Example 2, you are texting and the guy will say something such as “That’s all I wanted was to see you(:” We are all giddy inside and happy that the boy wants us and was thinking about getting to see us. We then analyze the text and send it to our friends and ask them what they think and so on. We never want to lose that message and we want him to say it again. Does the boy say it for the hell of it? Did they really want to see us that badly that they took the time to push the buttons to say it? Why can we not have a solid answer?

                Example 3, the confusing male. This is the most common type of male. He will not express his emotions and create stupid comments that will make us become even more confused. He says “I like you a lot and I don’t have two meanings when I say that but I don’t see me dating right now, just a thing.” Do boys think it is okay just to call it a thing with no commitment and just mess around? Or are they truly terrified of the thoughts of being with one person?

The dish on the ACT

                The ACT too many is the determining factor for your future. For others it is the stressor of a lifetime. As I approached taking this test I could not feel but many emotions. I was nervous, anxious, scarred, and sad. Why these emotions you may ask? Well ill let you know. Nervous, I was nervous because I would be taking the test for the first time ever and I had not experienced it before. Anxious because I wanted to receive a high score and build a strong base for my future. Extremely scarred that the test would make me want to stab my eye balls out. Finally, sad because it means high school is almost over for me.

                As I approached my testing room full of silence and strict rooms I seemed to relax a little. Even though my heart was beating away like no other I still felt the calmness comes over me. The test were not hard but were semi horrid. They take forever and make me fall asleep as I am reading the passage. Especially during the written expression when the passages were of no relevance to any matter and the grammatical errors were tortures. What is the difference between Its, It’s, Its’? Will someone please explain to me! I had at least five questions over the same concept. We finally move on to the math portion of the test and may I say.. mind blown! I studied and took the practice tests for the math section and was still the major confused. It was barley any algebra and was consumed with geometry which I never learned. Once that torture is over we only get a ten minute break in between! Like hello people I am a fatty who consistently eats so the break was not long enough!

                Testing resumes with long as hell readings that can make me go insane and rip all of my hair out. Science may I say was the worst portion of the test. I had to evaluate so many graphs that I stopped even reading the studies being conducted because they were taking too long. As the overachiever that I am I did take the writing portion. I feel it was very beneficial to me because I knew the topic and could answer it well.

                The only hope that I hold out is that I scored a 26 or higher. If I can accomplish that goal I will be able to finally be done with the ACT and never see that horrid test ever again!

Summer time fever!(:

I have recently hit the realization that it is almost summer and I cannot stop thinking of what the future will hold! I cant wait to lay out and tan, go swimming, vacation, and have nothing to worry about at all but kicking back and enjoying myself. Summer symbolizes the freedom that kids in school so long for while we are stuck in class.

It is finally warming up and now experiencing the sun so I sit in class and zone out the window. Day dreaming of the good ol days that are soon to come. My friends and I make bucket lists and have the most outrageous ideas in mind to accomplish over the summer time. Not only does summer show us the great times we have ahead to experience it shows us the miracles got has left out for us. The seasons change and we can experience new things. It gives us hope in the cold winter that we are nearing the warmth that we so longingly deserve. Everyone in general is much more happy and can enjoy themselves more. We can kick back and lay out. The idea of school is so stressful and we just want a break to soak up some of that sunny d! So come on summer I dare you to come out and show your face!

The ground hog saw his shadow and it is time for him to show me the long awaited spring. I am ready to road trip, go shopping, roll down first ave with the windows down and music blaring, and go to the pool. It is now time to break out the short shorts and tanks and live in my swimsuit. Become super tan and get that summer glow. Say goodbye to school and see it next year when I will be a senior. Its time to live the good life before school in High School will soon come to an end. I am beckoning summer to come save me from my peril of school time. I have hit my level of work and am ready for that break so I hope I hit it soon!

Once summer hits we wont be able to stop. So let have fun and make the best of it. Start the trends and make the memories. Meet new people have new fun and most importantly spend time with the ones that mean the most to you! Holla back girl its time to party! You do only live life once...

Inspiration blooming from us all

Dancing is not just movement that we do for fun, it creates a world of showing expression and emotion through the movements we can create. Some are blessed with these special powers to help other feel and experience something like never before. I as a dancer have been able to feel the joy my dancing can bring myself and others as well.

Whenever I feel down or upset I need to connect to my music and move. When I am dancing I feel that all of the weight is lifted off me and I am able to think and breath. The emotions that can overwhelm someone is amazing. The music in combination with movement creates a story that others can follow and perceive what we are experiencing. I dance like no one is around even when their is a crowd. The security that comes over me is inspiring and makes me want to spread my feelings all around. Dance is like a blank canvas and we are the paint. With every step we are changing the colors and creating the outline for others to view.

As I have grown up I have matured through my dancing styles and created a closer bond to what I can feel when dancing. I am now an instructor at a studio with my Director from when I was a little girl. The feeling of now being able to give other aspiring dancers their dream is overwhelming. I feel so rewarded whenever I watch my girls preforming and see the smiles on their faces. Just today when I was coaching the girls learned some new tricks and they were so enthused that they could themselves be so expressive. I was overjoyed to see them excited to show their families the new tricks they learned. Learning to dance is like being a baby bird hungry for the worm. It is dangling right in front of you and you can almost grab it.

Finally dancing is the world. It spins my universe and keeps me going. I feel inspiration and motivation to continue on with all of my goals in life. The feeling that overcomes is so unreal no one can experience the same things that I have. We all need that little step in our lives to push us through and make us believe anything is possible. Dancing is my answer. I will never stop no matter how old I get. Whenever their is music their is dance. Wherever their is dance their is me. Wherever I am their will be an experience of a lifetime. Live.Love.Dance.

Advertisment evaluation

Nike advertisements are victorious for persuading people to buy their products to increase their sports experiences. While searching for the perfect ad to show to our class I cam across this Nike ad and made a few notes.
-Having the writing high lighted in the white does a great job of drawing the eyes toward the meaning
-The use of the dark background makes viewers really focus on the images
-By using the blurred vision of the man beginning to run it makes us see his speed as he is taking off
-By saying I am the bullet in the chamber is making people believe that by wearing Nike you can become that fast.
-The advertisement assumes that we all know what they are discussing and that the power behind a bullet is limitless
-Pathos is used within this ad by provoking emotions about this man loosing his legs but now continuing on and fighting past adversity
-At first you don't notice but the man has no legs and is still being fast like a bullet
-By having a impaired man running as fast as a bullet it is showing that he has overcome his ailment by wearing Nike and they have helped him continue running
-The overall message of the Nike ad is to show that no matter what comes at you in life you can overcome it by wearing Nikes products
-The phrase just do it is creating the ideas to continue through the adversities of life and become the best you can b by wearing their products