Zombies attacking? Nahh

Zombie apocalypse has been overthrown! All of this month the hype of December 21, 2012 was arising, and now is done. The idea of the world ending and the time of human existence becoming cist are now over. This past week I was looking at all of the doomsday prepers and the people thinking we will die in shame. Then one day in AP Lang class a girl brought up the idea that NASA had proposed the idea of total darkness due to the planets all aligning with the sun causing it to become dark. This is when I started fearing for my life. What if this mass destruction will occur again and I will not make it through to see the other side? What if the human race is gone in a day! What if!

On December 20 facebook exploded with the last posts of people believing that we were about to die. These thoughts intruded my mind and scarred me beyond belief.  I then felt that I might be living my last days on this earth. I might have a horrible and painful death that I will fall too. We have all seen the movie 2012 that I filled with the idea of the world going into utter chaos and everyone falling into holes or being drown to death. Imagine living in that time and seeing others dying around you. I never thought much of the movie until it hit 2012 and this movie could become real. We have predictions that many have stated to make sure to scare us all. These people convince the world that we are done but are we?

No we will continue living our daily lives and continue to see that nothing will end the human race. The ideas that many come up with taint the human thought process and make us feel that we are not going to be able to see another day. Well guess what all you believers! I am still alive and will be alive and hope that when the day comes around for the world to end that I will be peacefully down in the ground. The world can do amazing things and I believe that we can make it through any mass destruction that the universe may throw at the people of this planet.

Loving another.

Love is the most exciting thing anyone can experience. It will give you amazing butterflies and chills up and down your spine. It can make you blow smoke out of your ears and slap a girl for hitting on your man. It can make you cry a river of tears and then be so confused you have no clue what to do. Well I guess this is love, and we can’t live without it!

I am in love. In a love that has been on the emotional roller coaster we could say. We have fought, cried, laughed, and been so happy! I am in a good spot now where I sometimes have not been. I have made mistakes and through them I have learned who truly loves me and will always be there. With this relationship I can be totally myself. I can be wearing no makeup and a t-shirt and still be told I look beautiful. I can be crying and have someone tell me it’s okay. I can have a stomach ache and they will rub it for me. I can have a headache and will get kissed to make it better. This is true love. As I write this blog I think of all of the good times I have had. I feel these times have structured me to who I have become today.

I have been welcomed into another families home to grow and mature. They have helped me through tough times and gave me new people to have as a support system. I can now feel free to be me. I can enjoy my life and know I have someone to support me. My relationship is backed with parental support and the love of each family. The cousins love both of us, siblings adore, and in the end we adore each other more.

Through these years we have learned who we are. I can only be my full self around him and him the same for me. We complete that hole you are born with in your heart that you cannot fill without another. The lonesome feeling in life that you have until someone who is the right puzzle piece wiggles its way in. So everyone out there with an empty void you will find another who you can relate to and love forever. The person who will always be your support and will be there no matter what you need. The person who will someday get down on one knee and make your fairytale ending come true.

Work, Work, Work!

Work, Work, Work! That’s all that I can think of when it is Christmas time. Working retail is such a painstakingly hard task to do in this time of year. People are late minute shopping, grumpy, and wanting what they want right away. This is all of the pressure that I do not enjoy. When I am at work constantly ringing people up and there is a line through the store of impatient people.

Before I began working in retail I didn’t think much of how the people who work in a store are affected. Now that I actually am in the realm of this working world it is insane! I have never realized how sloppy and disrespectful people can become. They don’t put clothes back the way they are folded and leave piles all over the floor. Dressing rooms left filled to the brim with clothes I now get the joy of putting away. The little kids are running all around the store knocking racks over and parents are oblivious to their child’s destruction they have caused. Since I have now been in the so called “industry” of retail I am very conscious of what I do when I am at a store. I always put my clothes back, be respectful to the cashier, and place things back where I have found them. Many believe that we are slaves of the store and all we have to do is wait hnd and foot on every person that comes into the store. This idea is so wrong! We do it to make the money and we do enjoy our jobs don’t get me wrong, but when people disrespect I get upset.

For example, one day I am working the cash wrap (cash register) and a costumer comes up. She would like to return an item, which we normally have no problems with. I begin the process of returning and realize the item has become a markdown. Thus letting the woman know that the price she will get for returning them is less than the paid amount. She became furious and angry. I proceed to try and remain calm but my blood starts boiling. My boss comes over and takes control, good thing she did because I was getting pretty steamed. After the lady had left I was told this is a daily routine for the woman to come in and return items. Ever since that day I have learned to keep calm under the tight pressures of the holiday seasons and daily work.

Banana yellow nation!

Happiness jackets are the banana yellow tradition that runs through the halls at Kennedy. You know something involving show choir is occurring because the halls will be filled with the sea of yellow. We all have looked forward to the day that we could customize our jacket and wear it proudly. We get to decorate them with all of our accomplishment and ideas of ourselves. By the time you hit the senior year your jacket is covered. At competitions while you preform younger members of Kennedy show choir wear your jacket cheering you on in the crowd. It is a great feeling to know that someone is representing you.

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to become a part of Happiness Inc. I sat on the baby risers at the Cocoa and Carols concert and looked forward to the day that I can sing Rudolph to the little kids and then I can perform for all of the little kids. I watched the year that the show Toledo Surprise came out and I was addicted. Since second grade I had dreamt of the day to be in Kennedys show choirs. Once I had joined the idea of a revolutionary show choir I could not be stopped. I now cannot be taken away from the idea of my second family and the love of my life. I have worked my way up the ladder and to the best level of show choir I can reach. I passed through the levels and now in my junior year made it to the most epic show choir ever.

Happiness does not just represent the yellow jackets with dangling medals and the loud voices. We represent unity and the joy of sharing our voices for everyone to hear. We show that show choir is hard work. We practice twice a week and have it as a class. We dedicate our weekends to working hard and preforming our butts off. We represent Kennedy and make us known as Americas favorite show choir. We take pride in the thought of others enjoying our show. When someone tells us they forgot they were watching show choir and thought they were in the show is the best.

Throughout it all we find in the end that we may win and we may lose but no matter what we will always be a team and a family that will strive for the best.

Fifty shades of grey

Recently I have read the book Fifty Shades of Grey. Every adult had advised me against reading this book because it is classified as an erotic romance novel that depicts the ideas of sexual content I should not be reading. I went against all of the advisements I had received and decided to read the book. I feel that inside all of the books that can come across in this manner are an underlying story line that can teach lessons and show love.

As I dive into the book you cannot put it down. It completely consumed me into the idea of this whole relationship between the dominant and submissive life. The life of being a dominant sounds pretty extravagant and somewhat tiring. The dominant in this role is that he has lots of money, all of the power, and can command around his submissive. The submissive is the other gender and they have to agree to accepting extravagant gifts, being called over whenever, calling the dominant sir, and doing whatever they want during sex. To make this whole agreement final they have to sign a contract to make it official and that no one can find out. Under the whole agreement Christian Grey is realizing that he is actually opening up to Anastasia Steele and might like her. He agrees to make love and not sex and is telling her about his past. She has met his family and also slept in his bed. Christian is now getting very confused because he has never felt this way about a woman. This whole relationship is now being looked at in a different way.

Anastasia learns to play the game and can now pull Grey around too. They do I will admit have very rough and somewhat kinky sex but at the same point it has this underlying sense of love. As a teenager who has heard everything and anything about sex in high school I longed for this kind of love. They can have the sex to pleasure each other but can also have the sex to get the joy of love. Love can be amazing and you can show it in many ways. The people that read this book can make a connection to these characters and will long for what they have. Overall the book is a well written and greatly thought out idea. I would recommend this book to all mature audiences that can handle it.

Being sick sucks..

That one morning when you’re alarm goes off and you just can’t get out of bed. I had that day and it was not fun. I had the sore throat and cough that I couldn’t get over. My body was hurting and I let the alarm ring on because I was too sore to get out of bed. Instead of being enthused that I get to have a day off and stay at home I have worried thoughts rush into my mind. I have so much school work I will have to make up in this one day missed and getting ready for tests. I am also missing show choir and I am now going to have to make up choreography,

I go to the doctor and then find out I have to stay at home until I can be fever free for 48 hours and can function. This sucks @$$ what am I going to do! You can email your teachers to get work but you still can never fully get the teaching you would get in school. So now I will be way more behind than all of the other kids. I also start thinking of all the secret Santa things I need to get done and all the parties I am going to miss. My brain is on overload.

I think back to the elementary school days when I would get sick and then wouldn’t have to worry about making up school. I could lay in bed and watch tv and play games while my mom would take care of me. I could lounge around for days upon days and the school didn’t mind. Those were the days of chicken noodle soup and ice cream all day long. My grandma would come over and bring me activities to do and snuggle all day.

We all end up growing up and now we realize the joys of growing up. We can’t enjoy those little sick days we have to fight through them. Many kids at my age come to school even when they are super sick just to not miss the work. I am sure this is how I ended up getting sick because others didn’t want to miss the work either. I would say that in high school we should be cut some slack by our teachers for being sick because it does happen and we all cannot help it.

Best friends!

Being alone in the world is the single most agonizing pain anyone can experience. Granted many don’t have this problem but some do. Not being alone but without a best friend is the second most agonizing pain to encounter. Lucky for me I have the best friend any girl could ever have.

Having a best friend is like having another part of your being. They know everything about you and can understand what you’re thinking. When you have a problem they are there to listen, when you cry they will comfort you, and no matter what they will be there right next to you. They are close enough to you to know everything and support you but yet distant enough to not get sick of. You may fight but always know you will eventually be back together. When you fight or don’t speak it’s normally a mild miscommunication that can be handled. They have the best intentions for you and will try and stop you from making stupid mistakes. If anyone says anything about you they will stand up and say the truth. Even at times when you make a mistake and they are there to comfort you.

If you’ve known them since middle school or met in high school the fact of it is as long as you have someone by your side and you are close nothing else matters. You can have inside jokes no one gets, wear matching outfits, and have code names for people. You guys can be crazy and wild in the most awkward situations. That friend is there to hold your hand when you cry and offer to help make your makeup look better when you’ve been crying and look like a raccoon.

These friends are there to have long car rides down First Avenue and get looked at by all the “thugs” in the hood. They are into the same bands as you and you make a CD for the car just when you two are alone. You have deep conversations and hit each other with steak when needed. You don’t need to say names when talking you can communicate without it. They know your clothes and help advise you on outfits; sometimes they go to your house and take your clothes. That doesn’t even concern you because you know you will get it back.

These friends can know you when you had braces and were as skinny as a string bean. This friend is constantly called your twin and sometimes confused with you at school. Your always mirrors in show choir because you fit well together and match perfect. You can interact well and have big plans for when you’re older. You can shake you are so mad at them but in the end feel better about them. Everyone knows you as inseparable and when you make a mistake that puts that in jeopardy you realize the mistake. When your friend will pull you aside and talk it out you know their your friend because they still care. Finally, in AP Lang when your typing this and your friend is gone and you got moved because we were going to be a problemJ

Best friends are the world and without them the world would not spin. You would be lost and alone. Men may come and go but friends always stay. I love you guys <3

You will live on forever.. that's a promise i shall keep.

Drew Wall may be the single most inspirational person I have ever known.  I met him when I was in the first grade. He was the cute little kindergarten that we all wanted to play with. He was then just a normal elementary school child that blended in until his fifth grade year. He came back to school in a wheelchair and missing his hair. We all didn’t know what to say or think. As we came to terms with the idea of Drew without a leg we realized he is still the same person. Actually, he was a much stronger person. We continued growing up and I went to middle school and Drew slipped from my memory.

It was eight grade and I remember coming into the foyer of the school and drew would be sitting on the bench with his cargo shorts and fake leg saying hi to everyone who came in. I cannot shake this memory of Drew out of my head. Our school would have cancer benefits and many would go and we all knew of his situation but he survived and was going to be okay. Another time comes rolling around when Drew slipped from my memory.

Sophomore year I see a familiar kid walking up the stairs. It was Drew! He was doing great and still being proud of his leg. We said hi and continued on our ways for the day. I would see him every once in a while and give the casual wave but that was pretty much it. About a month ago I stopped and talked with Drew. We talked about how to stay strong and fight through anything in life. Later on in the month I was at University of Iowa hospitals for an appointment and I saw him. He was in a wheelchair with his mom pushing behind him. I see him and wave and he waves back. I was running late to an appointment so I didn’t stop to talk. I regret every day that I didn’t.

The next week I find out that he had passed away. I instantly break down. I have known this kid since I was seven and that one day that was my last chance to talk to him I didn’t stop to talk. I was consumed with the idea of helping him live on and to show everyone that it shouldn’t take a tragedy to see what we all need to bring us together.

Happiness got invited to sing at Drew’s funeral and that was one of the most moving things I have ever experienced. He made sure that everyone knew he wanted to show that we should care for each other and not morn over his loss of life. His favorite bible quote has stuck in my mind and will never leave. I vow to you Andrew Douglas Wall that you will never be forgotten and will always be remembered in my heart and many others for as long as we shall live.

Joshua 1:9- Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the lord your god will be with you wherever you go.

Life is the pursuit of happiness

Throughout life we are all categorized as going after one thing, the pursuit of happiness. We all want that eternal bliss we all hear about and so longingly want. The problem is that there is no key to getting to fulfill our happiness. When we are born we don’t get the handbook with what to do. So we live everyday trying to figure out the best way to feel the thing we most need, our happiness and eternal bliss.

On our long journey that will continue for decades we make choices take risks and make sacrifices. We have heartbreaks and loose ones we love the most. We do all of these things for the thrill and the feeling of belonging and “happiness.” I believe that many never reach the end of their journey and die without the fulfillment that we all need.

There comes a time in your life when you realize your actions, know who you are, and see what your future could be. Once this moment in time hits we know it is time to take action and make decisions. You need the love like no other, and live every breath like it’s your last! Spend time with the ones you love before they one day are gone. When you are alone take time to cry and let your emotions go. Listen to love songs and watch romance movies to feel that superficial thing Hollywood calls love. We need a handbook, or some sort of answer to the longing question. I am determined to find that answer.

I am going to change my ways. Change my life so that I can find that eternal bliss. I am going to love like no other and cherish every moment of it. Everyone deserves to be loved, and be kissed every day and every minute of their life. We deserve to have someone longingly look into your eyes and see your forgiveness and truth, let them see how much you care. We want that smile on your face when they text us or give you a compliment. That’s what we all need, and we can all succeed and make it to the next step in life by changing our lives.

I ask all of you who are reading this to change your ways. Live everyday like it’s you last, make all of your memories survive and change impressions that have become pressed upon you. Care for others to full potential and make sure everyone feels like a human. Overall life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Christmas time!

Twenty three days. That’s the official countdown until Christmas is here. This whole year I feel is flying by and its almost over. Whenever I hit Christmas time frame I know it’s time to be happy! We get to end first term with a break, come back to school and have a half day, then leave for Christmas!

I feel the time of Christmas just brings everyone together. People cares more, give more, and love more. We all feel the need to be there for others. The memories start flowing back and traditions are brought back up. These are the best memories that will stay around for the rest of your life.

Every year at the beginning of December we put up the Christmas tree for a day. Drinking hot chocolate, and singing Christmas songs. Ever since I was a little girl we always play the Cheetalishous Christmas CD and I know all the songs by heart. My sister wears the Christmas tree skirt around her waist and we wear Santa hats. My dad brings up the million boxes of Christmas stuff and mom gives the lecture of not making the house look like Santa threw up on it. As we are getting ready for the day of fun we can smell sugar cookies in the oven.

Once the tree is assembled we pull out all of the ornaments we put on and remember all of the memories we have had with them. Some funny and some sad but it is still a great time to have together with the family. We sit in a circle and lay them out. Finally it is time to put them on. We all argue about where to put them because I want mine on the top and so does my sister. (I always win  though because she is so short)

Once the tree is finished we have the most beautiful angel tree topper to put on. I picked it out when I was a little girl and I have always placed it on the tree. My mom would lift me up so I could reach and as I got older I could stand on the side of the couch and place it on. This year was the first year that my sister was old enough to comprehend that i was putting the tree topper on. We got into a huge fight that ended in laughter and we now have to alternate years of putting it on the tree. Even though we argue about where we put ornaments or tree toppers I still remember every memory with my family at this time of year.