maybe i am not who you think i am

God gave us life, and our parents mold us into what we should become, but what happens when you feel like you have grown up and that’s not you? Recently I have been looking at my life and realizing that I am not who I think I am.

I was raised as a princess. Not to raise a spoiled brat but as the prize daughter who was an only child who deserved what she gets. I was blessed to get whatever I wanted and be good at everything that I do. I always am up to date with the new in style and dressed to the nines. I am a type a personality who needs everything to fit together and run smooth. I need to have good grades, have everyone like me, look the best and feel in control.

Recently I have been realizing maybe this isn’t me. Maybe I have to high of standards, or I am trying to be to perfect. Well I mean what even is perfection? Who is to say im perfect? I manipulate and pull people close and then hurt them. I am ruining relationships with people who are important to me. Pushing away the ones who I really want and was going for the ones I thought I wanted. Now is the time to change. I need to evaluate and introvert myself to see how I am. Wear sweatpants not always all put together, and maybe get a bad grade, and not make a mistake.

I feel like I am held to such high standards I cannot be the girl that makes mistakes. I need to say what the hell! I am not perfect I am just a human being in this big spinning world. The act needs to disappear and people need to see the real me. The Karlie Keeney I know I am, that girl that may not be who you think.

Hello, im Karlie and I am not who you think I am. I break down inside all of the time. I wear a mask infont of everyone so they don’t see what I feel. I sing love songs all of the time to comfort myself, and blare rap music in my car. I day dream of the world being different. I like sports! Shopping is not all I do. I get good grades just act dumb. Half of my friends are fake. I everyday am slowing breaking myself down by pushing my limits of life while I have an illness. I was bullied in middle school. And if I don’t change to being myself I am slowly killing myself.

On the outside I look like nothing is wrong but on the inside there is a completely different person that no one knows. No one besides a few take a chance to get to know. If only you knew me.