Have you ever experienced the feeling
or being caught in a nightmare and never being able to wake up? Yeah, I’m
talking about the one where you’re being chased but can’t run fast enough. I feel like I have been stuck inside a
nightmare and I can never wake up. I have been running and just cannot make it
away and once I feel I am in safety yet another person comes running after me.
All that I’m looking for is some safety to protect me from the darkness that is
coming around me. I don’t even know what is reality anymore. I need to be able
to feel like myself again. My life is consumed with more sorrow that is like an
ocean. It will come crashing against me and then recede, to all of the sudden
come crashing again.
I want to be able to breathe again,
to dream again, and I want to never feel pain. I want god to understand I have
suffered enough and I need some comfort in knowing I will not loose anyone
else. I want my family to be intact, I want to love like no one had loved, and I
want to be loved like I am all that is left. I need an escape from the pain and
turmoil I can never seem to overcome. The idea of me having a calm and tranquil
life is not possible. I want to be able to have back the ones I have lost and I
would give anything for them to be back.
I am standing at a cross road and I
need to have the train finish its long journey so that the bridges will rise
and I can cross through. Throughout these times I have been faced with triumphs
and tribulations but I am not going to fall. I am going to live on. I am going
to live on knowing I am a part of the legacy that the ones I have lost were a
part of. I will not break I will be strong. I am here to help them see that I will
be okay. I am here to let them see that I can stand strong and carry on. I know
I may break down and be sad but they wouldn’t want that. They want their love
to pour out through me and let others be touched by me. They did not intend to
harm me even though they did. I will always love them no matter what and let’s
hope in the morning the nightmare will finally be over.
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