Summer

It is so hot out! I cannot stand to be outdoors when I have the sweat dripping off my body and making me pant like a dog. As I was outside today I realized that the idea behind the summer is actually brutal. We wait all year for this time of fun in the sun to arrive, but for what? To sweat for hours and crave a good drink. Then we go inside too hot to take a shower because the water is warm and so the list goes on and on.

Honestly I feel very bad for the animals in our world. They are outside continuously in the extreme conditions with no escape to the cool air inside. On top of the heat they are covered in fur in which they cannot cool down but lock in the warmth. They run around all day trying to find some cooling shelter in which they normally cannot succeed in until it is night. The beaming sun looking all amazing as we believe it does is actually  breaking us down so we cannot function.

The sun can be compared to the angel and devil on your shoulder. On one hand it is fantastic to be outside, it leads to no school, and it makes everyone genuinely happier. Along with that comes the bad side, sweating, overheated, house work, and babysitting. So why do we not long for winter or fall? We will never know but one thing I can say is summer bring it on!

Afterlife?

Life, Evolution, and our known existence are questions I am always pondering in my mind. When we think of the difference between life and death we have no clue what is actuality of what is in a figment of our imagination. When the idea of evolution is actually questioned we are lacking many answers about our world.

Many believe that once we die we are lead into another life in which we will live. Our minds are erased and we have no idea of what we have previously been through. Now are reborn into a world in which we take on a new role as someone else. So the body disappears and the memories lead to heaven and the spirit transfers over. Do you ever see a baby that is born and they have many same characteristics as a passed family member? Or they look the exact same as someone who has passed. This raises the question of are they continuing around the cycle and it really is them.

When someone dies they supposedly see the light and move towards it. AS moving toward the light we could take this experience like the birth of a child. Maybe you die and are instantly born again as another. We see the light and as a baby is born they come out of a dark place to see the light. So maybe, just maybe we still do have them around us. Along with seeing the light, memories flash before your eyes and see your past. Maybe as memories flash this is us remembering one last time and then our minds are cleared. No more memories until we recreate a new life

Whenever you actually sit down and analyze the ideas of life you become completely baffled. Are we all in a cycle? Do we consistently morph into something else that we will now become? It is an answer we will never be able to fathom the answer. We cannot experience the ideas of life vs. death until it is too late to comprehend. If only there was a way to learn and experience this and then relay the information. Dying is a horrid sensation to begin to think of and I do not want to be anywhere nears it. I can be perfectly fine with the outstanding amount of questions that still consume my mind.  Maybe we are all dreamers and are actually not living at all, we will never know.

Crime is pride

               

Think: all men make mistakes

But a good man yeilds when he

Knows his course is wrong,

And repairs the evil: The only

Crime is pride.

As I read through the expert shown above I get this overwhelming sense of depth behind the author’s purpose. On the surface it seems a commonly confusing statement that is normally made within poetry. I begin to then re-read the excerpt and something catches my eye. The purpose is being shown as the idea of personality. All humans make mistakes and you could say we “repair the evil” so we can continue on from the issue. The final line is where it hits me; they say that “the only crime is pride.”

                Pride; the state or feeling of being proud. When we all think of the word we instantly think of different experiences involving our sense of pride. In elementary school we are told to have pride in our country. We need to support our country and show how proud we are to be Americans. Pride is a characteristic many strive to achieve within a lifetime. As reading the poem we then are told that when we are involved in evil our only crime is pride. Granted we all do make mistakes but the logic or theory behind them but pride is nowhere near the ideals of evil.

                Throughout life I have made some mistakes, being the teenager I am. Throughout this time I have as Antigone has stated “yields” when I knew my course was wrong. Once a person has realized their mistakes they do try and “repair the evil”, depending on how severer the mistake may be. When committing mistakes never once did they relate back to idea of pride. The thought of the word itself makes me think in a positive manner.  I have been raised to think of myself and my family with pride. Along with my family I need to take pride in my country. If pride committed all evils in the world we would never be encouraged to be full of pride.

                On the opposite spectrum some have changed the meaning behind having pride. There is a fine line between having pride and being cocky with oneself. Some feel they partake in certain activities due to the feeling of so called pride in themselves to participate in them. Due to the lack of intelligence these people contain the thought of pride is swayed. For example, recently when the Boston Marathon Bombings occurred many wondered what their motivation was to harm so many innocent people. One man once caught alive was said to have said that he attacked the United States because he had so much pride in his home country to come attack us. It is completely logical to have pride in your country but to then go and attack another nation is taking it to another level.

                So in the end maybe pride can lead to overall conflict and crime. Maybe if we did not have so much pride in what we believe in we would avoid catastrophes. The definition of pride will be continuously changing until the world stops revolving around the sun. We cannot control the outcome but we can fix our evils and reduce our crime. The current definition still rains true to me. The idea of having pride in something you believe in is not evil.

Physical Therapy.. nahh

Along with my illness problems I attend physical therapy to prevent breakdown of my body in the future. Now when I go to the physical therapist I have great intentions of trying to improve my strength and follow their instructions. One problem still lies ahead, they are boring and seem pointless.

Last night my mom reminds me of an appointment in Iowa City. I figured it was one of my follow up appointments for another problem I have due to Ehler Danlos Syndrome. No this appointment had to be for my physical therapist. I instantly go running into my room and grab my exercise list. Whenever I have a follow up they check to see my progress. These exercises haven’t been touched since the day I got them!

My therapist can limit my activity for sustainable living. Earlier this year he suspended me from cheerleading because I wasn’t strong enough to perform. Today is the appointment to see if he will take off my restrictions so I can participate in activities. My mouth literally dropped to the floor when my mom told my where I was going. I need to find a quick solution to my problem. This solution needed to occur in twelve hours as well.

Solution #1) I quickly review them so I know what is happening and I can bull shit my way through the meeting. This will then make Mike think I have been completing them and I will be cleared.

Solution #2) I tell him the truth and pray to god he will release me. I mean honesty is the best policy isn’t it?

As I ponder my options I tell my mother. She breaks the news that she will tell him no matter what so I then begin to beg her to not tell him. Whats my next move? Bribe her of course! So I promised to buy her a peanut buster parfait for her tomorrow, with my own money. Did she fall for it? Hell no… I have looped holed the best I can (might I say I do it very well). So fingers crossed I can trick my therapist and he isn’t reading my blog right now… opppss (Hi Mike)

Ehler Danlos Syndrome

At the end of my freshman year I fell very ill and could not walk. I was confined to a hospital bed and could not move around on my own. As this was all occurring we had no idea what was happening. The summer was exhausting learning to walk again beginning with a walker, then crutches, and finally on my own again. No one will know how much we depend on our body until you lose something we need every day to function. The journey was painful but I am happy to say that I can now walk on my own again.

Along with the issues of learning to walk again came the new tests and treatment solutions while we wait to figure out what my ailments were. I started taking medicines to block the pain messengers sent to my brain so that I could not feel the pain I had anymore. That led me to some personality changes that we all did not agree with so I stopped taking it. Since then I have continued to experience pain so we have tried new combinations. I currently take nine medications daily to protect me and make me feel better enough to function in daily life. They consist of stomach medicines, pain blockers, personality medicines, allergy pills, and all different types of vitamins.

We had to wait almost three long years to figure out a diagnosis for my illness. During this timeframe I have been through many tests. I have donated over 5 gallons of blood to be tested, spinal taps, stomach scopes, x-rays, ultrasounds, and many others. I have attended University of Iowa hospitals and MAYO clinics in Minnesota for treatment. At U of I I was diagnosed with chronic pain syndrome but this was not the answer to all of my problems. Once this one piece of the puzzle was figured out I started going to a physical therapist. He evaluated me and diagnosed me on the spot. He said you have Ehler Danlos Syndrome. We were then sent to have tests done and I was confirmed with the disease.

Ehler Danlos Syndrome is a rare genetic disease that gets passed down to offspring. It makes your immune system attack itself and begins to break down the body. I found out I had type 3 which was a blessing for me. If you get type 2 you can have the vascular complications where I don’t. I do not produce enough collagen that is needed for a healthy body. So I am extra flexible and can easily make my joints pop out of place. I am more susceptible to breaks and bruises, scars don’t disappear, and other complications. Along with these issues I get fatigued very easily so I have to manage my amount of activity in which I preform in.

I can continue living for right now but in the end I will need to re evaluate my life because the older you get the more my body will break down and stop working.

Family!

Family, a single word that can pack a punch behind it. It can mean the difference between succeeding and failing. They show you love and affection no matter what sins we commit, or the problems we face. We can always have someone to fall back on in a time of need and that is when you need them the most. Without my family I would not be the person I have grown to be.

My mother means the world to me. She has experienced things no one can imagine but is still as strong as anyone can be. Whenever I am faced with a problem she is there to pull me through. She is the protector and will not let anyone harm her young. Mama bear is not afraid to come out if someone messes with her babies. Even though I may not like it she is not afraid to tell me no, especially when I hated her for it. She has the kindest heart and will help anyone in need. She tries to provide all she can for her family so we can have the best life possible. I feel that I cannot have a better mother ever. She is selfless, caring, loving, and can still be authoritative. I can truly say she is my best friend and I feel comfortable to tell her anything even if she won’t like to hear it.

My little sister is the biggest goof ball you will ever meet. She has the humor that will never die down. I can never have a dull moment when my little sis is around. Even though she does get on my nerves I still love her. I love watching her grow and admire the things I do. I can see the admiration in her eyes as she tries to copy what I do. She has already matured far past her level a seven year old should be at and I am happy to take the responsibility for that. Along with being funny, she had the most tender heart you can ever meet. She can rub your back when your crying, or give you the warmest heart to cheer you up. I cannot wait until she grows up and I can see what she will blossom into.

My dad is my twin. I am a carbon copy that was made into a female instead of a male. He has the best humor around and is passionate about whatever he gets into. He will not quit until he has reached his goal he has set to accomplish. We both are very loud and not afraid to speak our minds. If we have a problem with you we will let you know what we are feeling. Granted, sometimes that is bad but sometimes it is needed. Without my dad I would not be the loud, outgoing, crazy girl I am today.

High school is ending

The idea of growing up is finally sinking in. We all look forward to the idea of maturing and becoming an adult. When were little we all tunnel vision for the idea of being in high school which is made out to be the best days of your life. Supposedly filled with friends, boyfriends, dances, parties, and endless fun. As I am now about to close the book to my high school era it is making me see the sadness that I rushed into being in high school when I shouldn’t have.

Last week I sang for my last tryout ever to be in show choir. I have been under the insane pressure of trying out since I was in third grade. Every year brings along new emotions and worries.  As I finished singing my patriotic song I could breath and be proud of the voice I have become. Walking out of the choir room I felt and overwhelming sense of pride over what I have accomplished. Then as I see my best friend throughout show choir I began to feel sad. We both hit the realization that this is ending.

In the coming week I will be auditioning to be a returning varsity cheerleader. When I started high school that was all I wanted to do. I have achieved my goals and now know I will never do anything like this ever again. The golden days are ending and it is paying its toll on me. I am excited to be the senior who is on top of the so called “high school pyramid” but on the other hand that means you’ve reached the final stretch. I am about to cross the finish line of my high school career.

I have hit the wall of reality as well knowing that I now am going to have to be self-sufficient. I will be graduating high school and now venturing into college, a new world where you will float or sink. I need to keep a strong head on my shoulders and not let myself fall into peer pressure. I cannot crumble I need to rise above.  I am beginning to see my life flash before my eyes and now wish I would have taken the chance to value the little things in life while I could when I was little. One day they will be gone and I will wish I could take it all back and redo it. Cherish the moment you have because they will soon be gone.

Poetry Month... yaaayy..

Among the dead, By: Karlie Keeney

As I descend the long path to the underworld
A blooming flower I see, I cannot look away
Forced to stare down at this evil beside me
The dew is wept to the cold ground
Falling from within, drowning my sorrows
I will support the majority, oppose the minority
For united we can do anything,
Divided we can conquer nothing
I am dead and forever will be
As I have to watch others around me
Struggling alone to live while I am among others
We can suffer together not in lonesome
Bound by a common thread
We are the dead, we are the fallen flowers
When one joins we comfort them
As they feel they have became a demon
They may now rest in peace in the newfound heaven

(17 lines)

Analysis of Poem using Literary and Rhetoric Techniques
-Line 1) I make use of an allusion by portraying the path leading to hell
-Line 2) Symbolism is used because flowers are normally thought of as a good and pretty thing where in the poem they are viewed as bad and evil
-Line 3) My diction of the poem is a very evil form of word choice where instead of praising flowers I am degrading them
-Line 4) The use of personification is used by saying "The dew wept to the cold ground" Flowers do release dew, but they do not weep the dew as a human like quality of crying
-Line 5) In this line I make use of irony because flowers have no emotions but yet I state "drowning my sorrows"
-Line 6) Antithesis is used in the form of  "I will support the majority, oppose the minority" I am using contrasting ideas or words used in a parallel structure.
-Line 7) Finally I use Inversion which is using an inverted order of words in a sentence "For united we can do anything, divided we can conquer nothing"

Letter to heaven

Dear Grandpa,

                My last few weeks have been hell. I have been through anger, tears, depression, loneliness, loss, and grief.  My brain never shuts down. I am consoling mom, taking care of kaleigh, and holding in my feelings. After I found out you were gone my world stopped. I felt crushed and like a piece of my heart had fallen off. You were loving, funny, and finally starting to come to my activities. Why did you want to leave me and go somewhere else?

                You were so proud of me making Happiness this year. We started to bond over show choir and you truly enjoyed coming and watching me preform. My performance at Kennedy you couldn’t make it to because you had to work and you promised you would come to my going out concert in May. Why did you break my promise? You swore you were going to be there to see my shining face on the stage that you had become to love.

                I am growing up and we just talked about my graduation and eighteenth birthday coming up. The feeling of pride that overcame you that I was going to graduate made me so proud to be your granddaughter. Your enthusiasm towards my high academic achievements always pushed me to continue trying even when I wanted to give up. I am almost an adult and about to become a young woman. My wedding would soon be around the corner and you were going to be there for me, seeing me create my future. Great-grandchildren were in your future to play with just like you did with me. Why did you not want to witness my future that is laying ahead of me?

                What am I left with now? I am always upset and try and hold it in. I cry when no one is around and then curse you out. If you were here I would hit you and then hug you so much. The only thought that runs through my mind was did you not think of me? You were always there for me and promised to continue to be. Did you not imagine the pain I would feel, the guilt that would overcome me, the overwhealming amount of greif I will feel. I cannot handle hearing the words death or kill me. We sing songs in choir that make me choke up every time we sing them. I am singing a solo that makes me feel that I am singing to you. I was so looking forward to you being at that concert to cheer me on.

                All that I wish is that I could have known what was going on in your mind. Why you didn’t take one second to analyze the situation. It was so vivid and painful. Walking through your house feels wrong, and thinking of how it happened is wrong. I have nightmares of you falling on the bed and screaming out in pain. You are asking for help and once it happened you were wanting to take It back. I have completely transformed into a new person who is cold and hollow. I can feel no emotions except sadness. I fake being happy for others to see. I want to be able to know the logic behind your thinking.

Please, pretty please give me some answers so I will feel better.

With all my love,

Your granddaughter Karlie

The male brain..Help!

                Do you ever have that moment where you smile like an idiot at a text, re-read a conversation just to hear the thoughts of the one you long for, await their response, or have your heart start pounding when they come near? I’m sure we have all experienced these feelings within sometime of our life. Girls more than boys typically seem the experience these fantasies and just never put their mind to sleep.  I would love to know what the boys think in their minds when they see a girl or experience their touch. Do they as well feel the spark and become excited.

                Example 1, you are at the male’s house that you like and are just hanging out and talking. As you are anxiously awaiting him to come near you our minds wander. To what could possibly happen. Then he comes over to you and hugs you. There is instantly the stupid grin you can’t wipe off your face and you want to stay there forever. Now this is the girls perspective but what do the guys think. Do they just do it to hug her or do they really want too?

Example 2, you are texting and the guy will say something such as “That’s all I wanted was to see you(:” We are all giddy inside and happy that the boy wants us and was thinking about getting to see us. We then analyze the text and send it to our friends and ask them what they think and so on. We never want to lose that message and we want him to say it again. Does the boy say it for the hell of it? Did they really want to see us that badly that they took the time to push the buttons to say it? Why can we not have a solid answer?

                Example 3, the confusing male. This is the most common type of male. He will not express his emotions and create stupid comments that will make us become even more confused. He says “I like you a lot and I don’t have two meanings when I say that but I don’t see me dating right now, just a thing.” Do boys think it is okay just to call it a thing with no commitment and just mess around? Or are they truly terrified of the thoughts of being with one person?

The dish on the ACT

                The ACT too many is the determining factor for your future. For others it is the stressor of a lifetime. As I approached taking this test I could not feel but many emotions. I was nervous, anxious, scarred, and sad. Why these emotions you may ask? Well ill let you know. Nervous, I was nervous because I would be taking the test for the first time ever and I had not experienced it before. Anxious because I wanted to receive a high score and build a strong base for my future. Extremely scarred that the test would make me want to stab my eye balls out. Finally, sad because it means high school is almost over for me.

                As I approached my testing room full of silence and strict rooms I seemed to relax a little. Even though my heart was beating away like no other I still felt the calmness comes over me. The test were not hard but were semi horrid. They take forever and make me fall asleep as I am reading the passage. Especially during the written expression when the passages were of no relevance to any matter and the grammatical errors were tortures. What is the difference between Its, It’s, Its’? Will someone please explain to me! I had at least five questions over the same concept. We finally move on to the math portion of the test and may I say.. mind blown! I studied and took the practice tests for the math section and was still the major confused. It was barley any algebra and was consumed with geometry which I never learned. Once that torture is over we only get a ten minute break in between! Like hello people I am a fatty who consistently eats so the break was not long enough!

                Testing resumes with long as hell readings that can make me go insane and rip all of my hair out. Science may I say was the worst portion of the test. I had to evaluate so many graphs that I stopped even reading the studies being conducted because they were taking too long. As the overachiever that I am I did take the writing portion. I feel it was very beneficial to me because I knew the topic and could answer it well.

                The only hope that I hold out is that I scored a 26 or higher. If I can accomplish that goal I will be able to finally be done with the ACT and never see that horrid test ever again!

Summer time fever!(:

I have recently hit the realization that it is almost summer and I cannot stop thinking of what the future will hold! I cant wait to lay out and tan, go swimming, vacation, and have nothing to worry about at all but kicking back and enjoying myself. Summer symbolizes the freedom that kids in school so long for while we are stuck in class.

It is finally warming up and now experiencing the sun so I sit in class and zone out the window. Day dreaming of the good ol days that are soon to come. My friends and I make bucket lists and have the most outrageous ideas in mind to accomplish over the summer time. Not only does summer show us the great times we have ahead to experience it shows us the miracles got has left out for us. The seasons change and we can experience new things. It gives us hope in the cold winter that we are nearing the warmth that we so longingly deserve. Everyone in general is much more happy and can enjoy themselves more. We can kick back and lay out. The idea of school is so stressful and we just want a break to soak up some of that sunny d! So come on summer I dare you to come out and show your face!

The ground hog saw his shadow and it is time for him to show me the long awaited spring. I am ready to road trip, go shopping, roll down first ave with the windows down and music blaring, and go to the pool. It is now time to break out the short shorts and tanks and live in my swimsuit. Become super tan and get that summer glow. Say goodbye to school and see it next year when I will be a senior. Its time to live the good life before school in High School will soon come to an end. I am beckoning summer to come save me from my peril of school time. I have hit my level of work and am ready for that break so I hope I hit it soon!

Once summer hits we wont be able to stop. So let have fun and make the best of it. Start the trends and make the memories. Meet new people have new fun and most importantly spend time with the ones that mean the most to you! Holla back girl its time to party! You do only live life once...

Inspiration blooming from us all

Dancing is not just movement that we do for fun, it creates a world of showing expression and emotion through the movements we can create. Some are blessed with these special powers to help other feel and experience something like never before. I as a dancer have been able to feel the joy my dancing can bring myself and others as well.

Whenever I feel down or upset I need to connect to my music and move. When I am dancing I feel that all of the weight is lifted off me and I am able to think and breath. The emotions that can overwhelm someone is amazing. The music in combination with movement creates a story that others can follow and perceive what we are experiencing. I dance like no one is around even when their is a crowd. The security that comes over me is inspiring and makes me want to spread my feelings all around. Dance is like a blank canvas and we are the paint. With every step we are changing the colors and creating the outline for others to view.

As I have grown up I have matured through my dancing styles and created a closer bond to what I can feel when dancing. I am now an instructor at a studio with my Director from when I was a little girl. The feeling of now being able to give other aspiring dancers their dream is overwhelming. I feel so rewarded whenever I watch my girls preforming and see the smiles on their faces. Just today when I was coaching the girls learned some new tricks and they were so enthused that they could themselves be so expressive. I was overjoyed to see them excited to show their families the new tricks they learned. Learning to dance is like being a baby bird hungry for the worm. It is dangling right in front of you and you can almost grab it.

Finally dancing is the world. It spins my universe and keeps me going. I feel inspiration and motivation to continue on with all of my goals in life. The feeling that overcomes is so unreal no one can experience the same things that I have. We all need that little step in our lives to push us through and make us believe anything is possible. Dancing is my answer. I will never stop no matter how old I get. Whenever their is music their is dance. Wherever their is dance their is me. Wherever I am their will be an experience of a lifetime. Live.Love.Dance.

Advertisment evaluation

Nike advertisements are victorious for persuading people to buy their products to increase their sports experiences. While searching for the perfect ad to show to our class I cam across this Nike ad and made a few notes.
-Having the writing high lighted in the white does a great job of drawing the eyes toward the meaning
-The use of the dark background makes viewers really focus on the images
-By using the blurred vision of the man beginning to run it makes us see his speed as he is taking off
-By saying I am the bullet in the chamber is making people believe that by wearing Nike you can become that fast.
-The advertisement assumes that we all know what they are discussing and that the power behind a bullet is limitless
-Pathos is used within this ad by provoking emotions about this man loosing his legs but now continuing on and fighting past adversity
-At first you don't notice but the man has no legs and is still being fast like a bullet
-By having a impaired man running as fast as a bullet it is showing that he has overcome his ailment by wearing Nike and they have helped him continue running
-The overall message of the Nike ad is to show that no matter what comes at you in life you can overcome it by wearing Nikes products
-The phrase just do it is creating the ideas to continue through the adversities of life and become the best you can b by wearing their products

Social Media is killing the romance

The idea of having a technologically inclined society is beginning to create social problems around the world. Many are experiencing their own issues associated with the harsh reality of our new universe that has come to be. We now have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Texting, and the infamous phone call. With these new communications we can violate and interrogate any way we please. It is creating social boundaries and causing distractions to high school students. Communication is now altered by technology.

Ashton Kutcher has wrote a hard hitting article based on the facts presented by our new world surrounding us. “Has Texting Killed Romance” sums up the issue before you even get past the title. Now commentators may say he is trying to promote his new movie which was airing about an electronic relationship, but you have to look at it from another view. Ashton is in the era to view both sides of the argument. He was born before the explosion of technology and is now experiencing the issues first hand. The ideas of walking up to a pretty girl and exchanging phone numbers while you nervously await the call is over. Now we text and never know the true emotion of the situation. Kutcher wrote “Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano.” Cyrano is known for his role as the romantic that helps out the other with what to say to who they long for. In today’s generation we can show and send anything to anyone so we ask our friend opinions before responding. We can overanalyze a period or exclamation point. This leads to many new issues to arise within the situation.

The ideas of society have changed so much that we now are altered by the ideals of this “Smart” technology. Communication is a face to face conversation and discussion, not meant to be shown to the world. Many are now afraid to talk in person and even worse on the phone. If you cannot communicate and hear voice inflections and more you are lost. Technology has worked into our lives and is altering the traditional ways to start a conversation let alone a relationship.

Today you can find and invade anyone’s life at any time of the day. It is altering our perceptions to build a relationship by meeting in person. Even if you do meet in person you trade number to do what? Text. The conversations consisting of “Yeah, what’s up and hey” take away any emotional connection you may have. It is a known fact that hearing someone else’s voice can bring you closer and have a better conversation. The emotions someone portrays to you are forever lost by the new form of communication with one another. We would like to enjoy the company we can give and ramble forever not get clipped text messages to one another.

Our generation we are in can make a change. We just need to say that we are going to revert into old traditions and not let technology let emotional connections go out of the window. Electronic intimacy is not the way to approach relationships in this era. We are leading to more cheating, more divorce, and heart break. Today make the vow to still communicate with others and build a connection.

 

“There is no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.”- Ashton Kutcher

Rambling from a broken heart

Why did you have to do this to me? You made promises and memories were left abandoned. I am now haunted by the thing you did and am so hurt. Why would you do this to me? Why did you choose to leave and not stay here for me? Did you not consider how this would affect anyone but you? God you should’ve thought this through. I now am left without you and am broken apart. Did you not love me enough to stay around? You were there to support me and see me preform. We bonded over show choir which now will haunt me every time I sing. I break down crying with the last thought I have of you in your casket. I now always wake up frightened at night imagining the pain you felt. I wonder what you thought of. Did you think of me? Do you miss me? Was it really worth loosing your whole family?

I want you back. I want you to love me and not let me go. I want you to have thought this through and not walked away from the ones you loved. You were swayed by someone who didn’t even care. You were used and manipulated. You didn’t even get a chance to see me grow up. You don’t get to see me get married and have my children. Kaleigh was only seven. You left behind you children and grandkids. We all were here for you and were looking forward to the future with you. Please tell me why you did it. It hurts me so bad and I wish the pain would go away and you would come back. That I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore.

Nightmares you just cant shake

Have you ever experienced the feeling or being caught in a nightmare and never being able to wake up? Yeah, I’m talking about the one where you’re being chased but can’t run fast enough.  I feel like I have been stuck inside a nightmare and I can never wake up. I have been running and just cannot make it away and once I feel I am in safety yet another person comes running after me. All that I’m looking for is some safety to protect me from the darkness that is coming around me. I don’t even know what is reality anymore. I need to be able to feel like myself again. My life is consumed with more sorrow that is like an ocean. It will come crashing against me and then recede, to all of the sudden come crashing again.

I want to be able to breathe again, to dream again, and I want to never feel pain. I want god to understand I have suffered enough and I need some comfort in knowing I will not loose anyone else. I want my family to be intact, I want to love like no one had loved, and I want to be loved like I am all that is left. I need an escape from the pain and turmoil I can never seem to overcome. The idea of me having a calm and tranquil life is not possible. I want to be able to have back the ones I have lost and I would give anything for them to be back.

I am standing at a cross road and I need to have the train finish its long journey so that the bridges will rise and I can cross through. Throughout these times I have been faced with triumphs and tribulations but I am not going to fall. I am going to live on. I am going to live on knowing I am a part of the legacy that the ones I have lost were a part of. I will not break I will be strong. I am here to help them see that I will be okay. I am here to let them see that I can stand strong and carry on. I know I may break down and be sad but they wouldn’t want that. They want their love to pour out through me and let others be touched by me. They did not intend to harm me even though they did. I will always love them no matter what and let’s hope in the morning the nightmare will finally be over.

Evil is near

                Evil is surrounding us. The working of the devil had consumed people inside our world. They have taken loved ones and stolen their money. Families are being put in turmoil because some people are too selfish and cursed that they will do anything that they need to get what they want. The idea of people brainwashing and messing with someone’s emotions is so greedy and selfish that it makes me sick. We all need to acknowledge the problems we are faced with and expel these people we are being faced with. They are turning human beings into the non-living and they are now not able to continue on living with the people they love. They are stolen from our arms and we cannot do anything but deal with the aftermath.

                The one message I have to say is that the evil will get what they deserve and karma is a bitch. The evil that deprive people of family member that they loved and had much more time to spend with them will rot in hell. I hope they have a horrendous death and will lose everything they love. They should be threatened the death penalty and never be allowed any mercy. The idea that someone can steal the one you love and never have them back is horrid. Yet they can continue living and never have another worry in their life. I hope that they never see the daylight again and will never be able to breathe another breath.

                I was robbed the life of someone I loved because of this evil. I am now not able to see him, hug him, and have him see me do my activities I love. I am forever without a part of who meant so much. He will never breathe again and will never say my name. I will never get a phone call or a text. He always liked my Facebook posts and that will never be there anymore. All I want is for them to pay and me to have him back. The cruel reality of it is it wont happen. No matter how much wishing or praying he is forever gone. I lost a family member and he will never be back.

Death

The idea of death is the most evil thing ever created. It can destroy family’s, hurt people, and rob yourself of time with a loved one. I know this feeling very well. I have been robbed so many times of opportunities I had to spend with family members that it is so unfair. I just begin to ponder the idea of why god ever created the idea of death. No one knows what actually occurs when death comes around and we have no idea of what happens in this so called afterlife. I wish I could stop all of the feelings that come rushing along with the lose of someone we love.

I had my grandpa stolen from me last Tuesday night. He was so young and I had so many promises to still fulfill with him. He was an amazing, smart and caring man. His grandchildren ment the world to him and he would do anything to help us out. He always had the best humor and could always make us laugh. My grandpa was not always there but that was not his fault. He was stolen from me and robbed me of the time that I had left. Whenever I had time to be with him he always made it memorable for us though. Then that one call comes when you realize that they are gone. You don’t even know what to think and to fathom life without them.

As I was hit with this overwhelming thought of never talking to my grandpa again I started to hate myself. Their were always those calls that I didn’t want to answer because he would talk forever, or not go over and visit because we wouldn’t leave for hours. I would instantly take those precious hours and minutes back to be with him now. Once they are gone you realize all of your flaws and want to take them back but the worst part is you cant. Their were things I had never confessed to that now he will never know or he will never experience. We had promises made that were going to occur that never are going to happen. I just wish I could have my grandpa back and talk to him one more time. I would love to just hug him again, have him come watch me cheer, or see me preform in Happiness.

You never know when you are going to loose someone you love and you need to respect every precious moment that you have. Grandpa I will love you forever and always keep you in my thoughts. Rest In Peace, Larry Joseph Topinka.

Harlem Shaking up the world

The ideas of the Harlem Shake have been intruding our culture recently. Everyone is entertained by the comical styles of others we may know. Recently DanceNation the studio I coach at had the instructors create a Harlem Shake video. All of our students loved it because they had seen previous ones and now are enthralled with the idea of seeing their advisors do the same. We now are known as the even cooler instructors because we can rock out and show how we can rock out for some good ol fun. WE now are plastered all over YouTube with the ideas of watching us “Shake.”

This past week I have seen the teachers of Kennedy high school create a Harlem Shake that was posted for us to view. The full one will be coming in the spring term assembly. It is cool to see the staff transform into a new person and enjoy themselves. We all do have the ideas of teachers being locked up in their rooms, and never leave the school. It is nice that they are showing how they can kick back and entertain the school.

I am now overcome with the idea of Harlem Shake. Is it a good idea or is it the time consuming ideas of many who they have come to have them created. Yes they do look like fun but aren’t the whole ideas getting old for some? We see them everywhere and to the same song over and over. For what? The pure satisfactions of seeing others make fools out of themselves.

It is funny to see the trends that have come from old to new. The Harlem Shake was actually a dance move a few years ago and now it has come back to have everyone enthused. Whoever created the idea of a Harlem Shake we all bow down to the hours of entertainment you have provided. From now on the Harlem Shakes will be viewed forever and now are impossible to remove. The shake has hit a high like “Bieber fever” and will be here to stay. As more continue to make fools out of themselves we will continue to laugh as they do. I am forever inclined in the era of the Harlem Shake, Amen! In the end one saying comes to mind. Hey we only live once right? Let Harlem Shakes live on forever!

Growing up

I recently have experienced the feeling of being slapped across the face, ice cubes down the shirt, or having cold water dumped on you. Pick which ever you choose but I now am hitting the realization of maturation and I do not enjoy the rude awakening. I am not a little girl anymore and I am now beginning to be faced with the burdens of growing up.

When I was little all I wanted to do was grow up and become an adult, now that it is faced right in front of me I am terrified. I have to make decisions that will alter my future and some I don’t know the answer. I will have struggles and will make mistakes that I will have to learn from. I am now in charge of my future and need to be responsible. I now that I am almost done with high school want to be the baby again. I would like to be able to rely on my parents and go back in time. 

I am now going to embark on a journey to determine my future. Who will I marry? What will my occupation be? Will I have children? Will I be poor? Will I love? Who will I lose? I am now beginning to become overwhelmed with this feeling on worry. I need to evaluate the here and now to be prepared for the future. So I now contemplate what I have been doing to see what can occur.

I wish I could view my many paths to choose the right one but that’s what life is all about. Taking risks and making mistakes. I hold my future in my hands. It is all up to me and I know that I can find my way to make them a reality. When I was born I was giving the right to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. I am on the pursuit and lets hope I can reach it. There’s no guarantee that this life is easy, but I am hoping for the best.  So stay strong, love often, and learn lots. Protect the ones you love and make sure to live life to the fullest. Never look back and wonder and make sure to take chances. After all you never know what can happen.

Happiness will live forever

Happiness Incorporated was founded in 1967. I was still a twinkle in my parent’s eyes at that time. Little did I know that when Happiness was founded I would find my calling that would help me find amazing people, give me courage, and always have someone to fall back on. I am eternally grateful to be a part of such a great organization with great people.

In fourth grade I was in Madison Blues at my elementary school. We would go to Kennedy and preform at their Cocoa and Carols benefit concert in the winter. Happiness theme was Toledo Surprise, and from that day on I became obsessed. My dream had been to be in Happiness and preform like the kids involved. I was awe struck. Flash forward to this year, I was blessed to be cast in this year’s show. My dream was becoming reality. Little did I know when I was in fourth grade that being a member of Happiness meant much more than preforming for an audience.

Happiness is a family. We spend more time together than we do with our actual families. We support each other through any issues that arise and in the end will always be together. I have never felt more comfortable with one group of people in my life. We share personal feelings through problems we may face and are always staying strong with each other. When we experienced turmoil this year we didn’t give up we stood strong and fought for what we believed in.

When we are preforming you feel the emotions that the group is having occur. Yesterday was the end of Happiness 2012/2013. It came by way to quick and now it is sinking in. I may not ever see the friends I have made again. Preforming the ballad made me cry. The ideas of never walking alone stand true to the group and we have made bonds no one else can experience. As we are crying in sync we have hit the reality of It coming to an end.

Show choir in the grand scheme of life is not important. But I do feel that it teaches us good lessons we will carry for the rest of our lives. We learn to work with others, how to create bonds, work through problems, stand up for others, have self-confidence, feel emotions, and create long lasting relationships. I have learned so much from this group that I would have never experienced in a normal daily life. I am blessed to be in a group with so many caring people who will always be there.

Dreams?

Dreams. When you hear this word what do you think of? I instantly get the thought of something fanciful that can make you wake up and smile. As I think of my dreams they make me more confused than relieved. I know that psychology suggests that dreams are to foreshadow your future and help us subconsciously think through troubles we have in life. It is documented that when you dream as a child you will work through issues that you may have in the future. While this could be true but I know there more. Are they images from our past life, future life, or what we would like to happen?

Whenever a dream pops into my head I wake in the morning and try to sort it out. Granted I am a girl and will over think my thoughts but I still feel that there is more purpose to them. So what if they are supposed to help us work through problems. Most of my dreams have not helped me work though any situations. They take me out of reality and let me go somewhere else. I then wake to the lingering question of what if? I then continue to float on the cloud I was put on thinking that everything would continue on okay. I just cannot get the thoughts out of my head and continue to surround me through the day. On the other hand I feel that dreams are there to let us get the fantasy that we believe and then we can move on. I wish I could have the answer to all of my questions because they can drive a girl insane. I am consumed with this idea of dreams and how they affect our lives.

 

Nightmares. That’s the next thing I think of. Do you ever have that horrific scene that you can’t shake and then you become paranoid that it will happen to you? This is the sad reality of going to bed. You can never have a peaceful night we are always haunted by either the ideas of fantasy or the ideas of horror. The meanings of these are supposed to help us but do they? Many would agree that we would be okay to just relax and sleep. I then spend my next day analyzing the effects of the dream. Let’s just be given the answers and be done with this. So next dream you have don’t analyze it just let it go.

One and done.

When one person makes a decision it effects many around them. At the time the person may feel that it is no on else's concern but their own until they see that it does involve someone else. I have experienced something that will live with me forever and has helped teach me what can happen by the actions people make. It is now preventing me from making mistakes that can hurt others as well.

By making one mistake that another had made they harmed so many people. They broke trust, hurt others, and harmed the reputation of all. They now have realized the wrongs they have committed but at the time did not think. I do not blame them for what happened but wish they would've thought first. Now whenever I hear something about their mistake it is reflected back on me.

People criticizes the masses for the harm that a few can do. We now are all looked down upon and have consequences. We now all cannot be viewed as the leaders but as the followers and we are now seen as the bad guys. We are the butt of peoples joke and the ones who are looked at when we walk around. The mistakes are now going to haunt us all for as long as we know. We will forever be looked at differently.

Many do not know the truth and never will. They need to know that we all were not involved though. We all did not make the mistakes that they did and we want to be viewed differently. The people that say bad things need to know that we are a family and will stick together through this time and will not let the others make us feel bad.

We are united and we will not let the issues break us apart, we are forever bonded and will forever be there for each other. No matter what you have to say.

Superbowl maturation

As I am watching the Super bowl this Sunday in the second quarter I have an aching feeling that the 49'ers are long gone. They have no chance of making it back and are getting down on themselves. I couldn't decide if it was my previous knowledge of football teams that gave me the uneasy feeling of no recovery or the big score gap.

I have been blessed with the knowledge of football because of being a cheerleader for our school football team and I know how they can react. This year we made our way to the playoffs for state football. The boys were all excited to be playing at the UNIDOME and were ready to win like the victory the week before. As the game begins the we are slowly sinking behind. It feels as if we can never catch up as the other team has full field touchdowns and are pulling ahead. The team begins to get down and I can feel it among the players. As the game continued on so did the lead of the other team ahead of us. The boys had given up hope and were pre-determining their fate. In the end we lost the game because we counted ourselves out too soon.

As I am sitting and watching the Super bowl and half time is approaching I get the same feeling of loss. I proceed to make the comment "Its over..the 49'ers cant pull back out of this one they are getting down on themselves." This began to strike up a conversation and made us realize their is a major difference between the 49'ers and my Kennedy football team. They have matured and learned to not give up when the times are down. So it is possible to come back. I am in the midst of typing this blog when the game starts to pick back up. The score is now within a touchdown to determine the winners of the Super bowl 47.

I was so impressed to see that the 49'ers were making a come back. They found the strengths to pull through and make it work as a team. I could see the differences between the teenage boy and the man playing football. They bond over the love of it but learn the new ways to play the game. It is all the same plays and ideas but they have new ideas to bring to the team. The development was amazing how they came together and fought back for their team and will not let it die.

The 49'ers are a great example of what the future can hold and how football can always bring a bond between people.

BLOGGING..UGGGHH!

Blogging can be a joyous occasion and let us have a way to release stress onto the world. We can write about whatever we want or feel is necessary. It can be an entertaining time when you read others blogs and see what they have to say, or when people comment on a post you have made. I know I enjoy when I log into blogger and see how many page views I have received and I have almost hit 900 views. Looking at the spikes on the page of how many people from the United States and Canada have watched my blog. Then we hit this time of year, mid trimester when we begin to run out of ideas to blog about.

I cannot think straight! What have I blogged about and what haven’t i? What ideas can I steal from others and use as my own? How can I make a blog that doesn’t sound like a diary entry about my day? These are the constant flowing questions I hear when I come into AP Lang every day. So I have come up with some ideas to help you figure out new ways to keep on blogging for another four months, yes I said four months.  

1.       Steal others ideas. You know we have all done it. You read someone else’s blog and think “hey I can blog about that!” So try and use ideas of others and then make them your own. Add a personal experience to it or incorporate new thoughts for others to see another point of view.

2.       Use Argument and persuasion techniques to find new topics. If you can make a claim and argue about it then blog it. You will always receive comments on that and can keep on ranting forever.

3.       Be poetic with your writing. Compare seasons, make connections to daily life, or make analogies about common topics. If you can find a way to write creatively and express yourself you should be able to write about anything.

4.       Take the time to rant. You know you do it, and everyone else does as well. I get in a mood and just need to be able to let out my feeling on the computer. This prevents fights with parents, boyfriends, or friends. It also makes you feel a lot better about yourself in the end.

5.       Finally, give advice. If you have experienced something share it with others. You never know what others have gone through and you may see that sometime you will want the friendly advice.

miss representation is raising a question of my own

Miss representation is a hair raising film that has been created to show the incorrect treatment of women these days. As we are viewing the film a startling statement is produced. Disney princesses were never viewed as the protagonists in films they were always viewed as the damsels in distress needing help from the princess that would magically run into them along the way and make a fairytale ending.

"Is Disney Princesses promoting the ideas of sexism through their movies to little girls so that we believe that it is okay to be impowered as adults?" and "Is their other research out their that is also beilieving the same conclusion i have came too?"

As i begin to explore the ideas of the Disney princesses starting the subconcious brainwashing of our future generations of women i find some others that are in agreement with my logical thoughts. I began to fall into the giant black hole or as other like to call "Google" to see others opinions. I come across a independant news source article that has come from the Daily Campus by the University of Conneticut. Cassie Schmidt is the writer of this article who is willing to show the problems that we have all been facing since we are little. As we look through all of the commentary that all can make the girls in these movies are all showing female obedience to the man. Besides the fact of showing women as slaves to the men it also shows how the ideal love will occur after you work through your troubles. As anyone who is a avid reader of my blog you will see that I am very into the whole idea of love and how Hollywood makes love seem so easy. These princesses are searching for love while they are slaving away to the man in the story.

I feel that the producers of these films and Disney corporation itself were not trying to straight out promote sexism through their stories but they did find a way to let it show through. As more and more complaints walked through the doors Disney tried to be more conscious of the message they were sending to viewers. Subconsciously all little girls were role playing, and aspiring to be like their favorite princess and they didn't want them to believe in a sexist world. When the movie Aladdin and the King of Thieves  appeared they tried to send a different message. In the end they had no other women around in the story and Jasmine resorted to being alone and the only way to solve the conflict was to marry a man.

As I am continuing my search of Disney princesses degrading women and showing sexism I came across a website that is also showing how Disney movies are showing degradation and sexism to men. Here on this website clearly titled to help women overcome sexism they found the issues in Disney movies for men. A YouTube video showing the idea of broad shoulders, huge arms, and a cocky attitude are portrayed in the films as well. They are subconsciously now teaching boys to assume that they will be waited on as long as they look like the hot man with the moves. This whole connection shows to me that not only is sexism pounded into little girls heads when were young, boys also get the pressure and the priming as well.

The Disney movies were only the start of sexism beginning to pour into the media and literature. We all need to save the future generations from being brainwashed subconsciously to believe that sexism exists. In our decade we are starting to expand out the ideas of sexism and we are making a difference. Lets hope this will continue on so we can have a better future for all.

Gender roles are a subconcious continuous thought

Ever since I was a little girl I have been subjected to the ideas of gender roles. They have been pressed upon us by parents, the media, and our friends. We have subconsciously been conditioned to believe that we have certain roles we have to stay in and we feel that it is perfectly fine to be that way because we don’t know anything different. I as I have grown up have become more aware of what is going on and how it needs to change.

We need to start the change from day one. When we are little we are gender specified by the color we wear, girls in pink and boys in blue. As we begin to mature we are told what to play with, girls a doll and boys a truck. Our minds are made to believe that we cannot succeed in doing anything else then what is predetermined for us. As young children we watch all of the Disney movies who send the message of girls only looking for love. 12 out of the 13 Disney movies portray a movie of a girl who is in search of a man and no search of a woman finding herself. We are depicted to be helpless girls who need a man to fit in that role. A recent controversy has arisen because the movie Toy Story 3 features many children toys throughout the film. CNN has recently written an article about how many of the toys in the movie were very sexist. They consisted of male predominant toys and the one female toy in the movie was a Barbie doll. Many are presenting the facts that it is unfair to show the males as superior to the females even in the children movies.

I feel that the stereotypes that we are subjected to as young children end up shaping our future. If I was raised in a different manner to have a unisex upbringing I may have had a different turn out. Being raised in a complete opposite environment would be an interesting experiment to see how I would turn out. Even adding brothers in the  mix would be interesting to see the developmental changes that can arise. In the end the ideas of gender roles are all around us and I would love to know your personal experience over your life growing up. So please comment on my post and let me know what you think!

Blahh..the random blog post

As I finish doing my homework today one of my all-time favorite movies comes on the screen.   Mean girls, has always captivated my attention since I was in the fourth grade. I used to think it was just a big kid movie that I was lucky to watch because it contained all of the crude language and sexual ideas that high school contained. As I grew older I began to see the meaning behind this movie and how it still reins true to the life of an average high school girl.

Now that I am closing in on the end of my high school years I watch this movie and see my own school in the movie. Our school is full of clicks of people that cannot interact together because of the “rules” that we all believe exists. We have the jocks, the cheerleaders, the plastics, the nerds, and the band geeks. Many believe in the fine line of you do not talk to the popular and so on, but I am the one who breaks the barrier. I have been the girl that hangs with the plastics and they do change you. They turned me into the bitchy girl that no one wants to be around. I am the girl that can yes dress up every day, never leave the house without makeup on, and I need to have my hair done. I am also the girl who is not afraid to talk to anyone and will always be nice no matter what.

I agree with the idea that high school is a major zoo and that we all have cat fights but the movie does push the limits of how the females interact in high school. Yes, we are mean and talk behind each other’s back but we do not find the need to degrade people so low that they won’t be feeling good about themselves. I feel that we need to have a movie to portray that girls should respect each other and not be falling into the trap of high school.

Heart and brain..pull it together!

Your heart beat is a vital component to every human on earth. Without it we could not function, it determines how much blood gets pumped and how much we can feel loved. When the heart gets excited it races and when were heartbroken it burns. The heart is always there making a hidden clue to our life.

Recently I was put on a heart monitor because unfortunately my heart is not cooperating. It is not in the mood to listen to what is going on and keep me beating at a normal pace. There are two sides to what my heart is doing right now. One is that it cannot pump the right amount of blood accurately. I am struggling to keep it at a constant pace and it is constantly slowing down. Along with the slowing I get light headed and my chest will start to hurt. Why all the sudden am I feeling so much pain? I can literally feel the pain of my heart.

Now being the deep and poetic person that I am I begin to think what is my heart trying to tell me? It has to have a reason to be slowing down and causing me pain, then my mind starts to wander to abstract ideas I should not be. Is my mind trying to tell me that I am in emotional pain? Am I sad because I am deprived of seeing the love of my life due to life? Or am I just confused? These thoughts come running into my mind and make me endlessly confused. I then cannot get the suppressed thoughts out of my mind. I turn to my dreams to give me answers and all I get is me and my boyfriend being chased by vampires. What is that trying to tell me! My mind needs to be in sync with my heart I am telling you! This has to be the reason that I am malfunctioning! They are not cooperating together anymore!

So let’s hope that in the next month my heart can sort itself out and not freak out about what’s going on! All I have to say is that my heart needs a break and my mind can take the reins for a while! Maybe then I can get a break from this pain in my chest and my body can become in agreement of whats going on again.

Happiness!

Kennedy high school show choirs are the most prestigious honor anyone can receive when you are attending Kennedy. We go through try outs and call backs, we suffer through the painstaking agony of wondering if we made it, and in the end your dreams come true.  Ever since I was a little girl I have been obsessed with show choir. I am one of the only kids that have ever started show choir in the second grade. I have had a knack for singing and dancing so why not put them together? I took the risk of trying out and I loved it.

In elementary school I was in Madison Blues, our show choir group where we would have to sing and dance for them to make it. As a second grader I made it into the group. When it was time to leave elementary school I enrolled into choir in middle school where the new round of show choir would begin. I was severely intimidated by the idea of a sixth grader trying to make a more mature group. This audition process was full of dance clinics, singing practices, and the videotaped audition. I went in and tried my best and I was one of the few sixth graders that made Regeneration. I was so excited that I was good enough to make a show choir group as a sixth grader. I continued through Regeneration every year until I transferred schools in eighth grade. I then went to Taft and I proceeded to make Kids from Taft even though I had to try out late. This was when my reign over the front row in the closer began.

As eight grade ended the new tryout rounds began. I tried out and made Chanteurs, Kennedy’s freshman show choir. Here I harnessed my skills and learned to rock the show choir world. I was once again placed front and center in the closer and rocked my way into the hearts of the audiences. The year ended and I tried out for Protégé. Protégé is hard to make and almost half of Chanteurs will not make the group. I tried my best and the list became posted that I had made it. I was ecstatic to be one of the few that made the group. Then this year approached. As you get older the groups are harder to make and the competition is fiercer. Well I ended up making it into Happiness Inc. my junior year which Is hard to do.

I am so thankful and blessed to be in one of the best groups in the country who has won Nationals and been voted as Americas Favorite Show choir.

Winter's beauty

Winter is the time of year full of snow, fruit cakes, and family. You are gathered by the fire and can drink hot cocoa. You bundle the kids up warm when you leave the house and dread having to scrape the windows in the morning. Snow days fill children’s minds and parent dread the idea of missing work. We all have experienced these feelings in our lifetime and know they are not pleasant. As the year rolls by and we come into fall we love the look of the leaves and the brisk air. As November slowly approaches into the year our mind slowly slips to the thought of the winter. We all feel that the fun is over and the beauty of the spring and fall will be covered by ugly brown muddy snow and the idea of looking like a marshmallow to leave the house. As humans we tend to overlook the little things that make this time of year as beautiful as any other time of year.

I always think back to that first time I remember experiencing snow. These magical flakes falling from the sky in pretty little patterns and could turn the ground into a blanket of white amazed me. I remember sticking my tongue out to catch the flakes and taste them, and the magic that came with them melting inside my mouth. My hair would be covered in little white flakes and I could get hot chocolate to drink. We could get days off school and stay home all day laying in a blanket waching movies. This was the magic that snow created for me when I was a little child.

As I have grown I still feel it is not winter without a snow and it is always as magical as the first time I had experienced it. Now my perception may have changed but I still get that same joy inside that can send tingles up your spine. I will run outside and spin in a circle in the snow and catch the flakes on my mouth. I will bundle up and go sledding and I will also lay on the couch snuggled in my blanket and I will drink my now Mocha or Frappuccino instead of my old hot chocolate.

In addition to the excitement of the snow I look at the beauty of it. All of the little flakes combining to make a larger picture for all of us to enjoy. How pretty a person can look in the snow with it falling on their face and how it can make you realize the feelings you have for them. You can survey the icicles and see that they are some work of magic to freeze in midair and help us see something beautiful out of them. The whole idea of winter can consume me. Yes, I do hate the cold and scrapping my window but I love to take the time and survey the blessing I have to be able to look around and enjoy the amazing gift we have been given.

Music is the story of someones life

Humans have the capability to think in abstract and amazing ways and analyze things into meanings no one could ever imagine. I feel that as women I do have the capability of over analyzing issues and reading into connections that have no significance at all. We find these dreams, fantasies, or words someone can speak to consume our minds until we figure out why.

Ever since I was a little girl I had been entwined with music. When I would become sad I would sing songs to comfort myself. When I was able to talk the notes soon came flowing out of mouth. Singing the in songs of the time or creating my own mix of emotions at the time was my specialty. As I grew older and would listen to the meaning of lyrics I could feel a connection. Music has a special impact on me. When I hear a new song come out I will dissect the meaning of the words. Either a memory will link to it, a feeling that I am experiencing, or a new tone the music can bring. I have my comfort songs, my party songs, and those sentimental ones that you can never let go. Some may believe I am ridiculous but a song can impact me so much that I will cry like a little baby. I am that girl that you see in the hallway that you believe she has headphones glued into her ears because unless I have too they don’t come out. I just cannot escape the thought of music in my life. It moves me and creates my world.

As I sit here writing my blog I am overcome with music flowing from my headphones (might I add are sparkly Ihomes). I am thinking of the music I am listening to and how It will affect my mood when I am writing. The maroon 5 playlist is going right now and I can’t help but stop and think how their life experiences can relate to mine. They are grown men who are rich and famous, but yet a teenage girl in Iowa can still experience the feelings they have felt. The artists that I choose to listen to have the message of either love or heartbreak. I will admit that sometimes rap does flow through my car but I like the soft sounds of someone’s life telling me their story. Music is like a book, you will never know what you’re getting until you actually pick it up and see what there is to offer.